Today is a day when I LONG for my Lord to come back for me. I spend most of my days wrapped up in my life. I jet from place to place and wish for more time. Because I simply don't have time to do everything I need to. Or maybe want to. I think about my future, I replay situations over and over again in my head trying to make sure I did things the "right" way, I go and I go and I go....
Then things come to a crashing halt.
What am I living for?
The question invades my mind and heart. Instantly I am brought to my knees wondering how I have overlooked my sweet Jesus. I don't feel fulfilled and my heart aches because I look to my obligations and my relationships to fill needs that only Jesus can take care of. A person cannot replace the love of God. They most certainly can manifest it- but they absolutely cannot replace it. I am so tired of forgetting or downplaying what the Lord has done for me. I live as if all there is is exactly what I see. And that is such a lie.
I am learning so much about my Lord in these stretching and painful times of restlessness, forgetting then remembering, and feeling far from everyone around me. What is on my heart about my Abba today is that He is faithful even when I don't choose Him, even when I forget.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
So just over a month ago I started this thing. Obviously I haven't made much progress with it. That means one of two things: either life is crazy busy or I am lazy. It's actually both. Life is crazy busy so when it isn't I take the glorious opportunity to be lazy. Today I am worn out. I have been playing soccer for a month (3 a days, then 2 a days, now finally just one a day practices! woo!), then last week Student Government started up. Running back and forth between meetings with coaches, advisers, peers, staff has made me a tired woman! In the midst of me running around like a chicken with my head cut off, God showed up. Isn't it funny how we are always shocked by Him? Why am I surprised every time I see His face? Golly this gal needs more faith. Anyway, He showed up in the way He most often does. In His people.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
I'm a blogger? I suppose I am now. I have always had sort of an anti-blog stance. I don't think I have very important things to say most of the time. Sometimes I just ramble, other times (these occasions are rare) something semi-profound will flow out of my fingertips and through the keyboard. It's hit and miss really, and I am writing to no one in particular. So if you're reading this, you may or may not walk away with something of value. I'd like to think of this blog as a step towards more transparency as I walk this journey of faith.